A Different Kind of Sweet
by Cooper Writer Crafter
Summary: Misa is asking for it. But Raito won’t give it. So she goes to L for a sinful encounter. Upon seeing them doing it, Raito agrees to give it to Misa if L joins. LXMisa LightXMisa LXLight. Revised and re-posted.
1. Oral Receptiveness

**Fanfiction Title: **_A Different Kind of Sweet_

**Manga/Anime: **Death Note

**Author: **Harley Cooper

**Pairings: **Misa Amane / L / Light Yagami / Misa Amane

**RATED: M**

**Warning: **_food play, suggestive language, games, orgy, lemon, het and yaoi. Might occasionally break the fourth wall* during narration. Also features bad-for-your-health OOCness among L, Misa, Light and other characters since there is no real evidence in canon to suggest how they will act in sexually-infused situations. And this story is infused with sex, be warned. _

**Notes: **_The first four chapters are set without L and Raito being handcuffed together (this is against canon norm, I know). But I still plan to have them handcuffed after three chapters because I know you girls like that._

**Summary:**_ Misa is asking for it. But Raito won't give it. So she goes to L for a sinful encounter. Upon seeing them doing it, Raito agrees to give it to Misa if L joins._

_**XXX**_

_**Oral Receptiveness**_

One day, without any logical motivation, the beautiful yet questionably sane Misa Amane, the one you see during afternoon infomercials wearing tight Goth clothes as she shows around products all smiley and giggly, was not in her usual cheer to fart out rainbows; instead she was groveling, stomping her foot and flapping her arms. She shrieks. "Pleeeeease!"

If only someone will pay her per hour while whining like a bitch, glamour model that she is. But it certainly isn't going to be Raito Yagami. The price is not his time and the currency will surely (_as hell!_) not be his penis. He firmly says. "No."

"_Puh-ah-leeease_!" Like the childish enunciation would be more persuasive.

It only earned an impatient derisive snort and Raito shot a glare at Misa. "No."

"But what else could Misa and Raito do?" The bottle-blonde, pig-tailed Barbie reincarnate pouted without any sign that she has yet to give up the fight. Her so-called boyfriend Raito, however, is entirely opposed to the idea. Yes, he did find Misa the slightest bit of attractive, like one would look at a sad puppy inside a pet store but he never had any inclination to cuddle her like one. _Ever_. It might or might not be because she is the dumbest, neediest woman on the planet. It might or might not be that Raito is a heartless jerk but, anyway, we decide to stick to the reason that he is a heartless jerk. Or perhaps _cold-hearted_, yeah, that seems about right, since one still has to possess a heart to judge criminals and write their names on a notebook to kill them, get what they deserve, _right_? One has to have a heart to pick up the trash and dispose of it, _right_? But we don't care about shit like that in this story, since Raito has no memories of his murderous rampage anymore, thanks to his crafty, sneaky plan to forget it himself. So let's move on.

It's only unfortunate for Misa that Raito did not have any hots for her; if he ever did get feverish around her, that's probably not because of fluttering butterflies but due to nausea. Having sexual congress with her only increases the bile supply.

We have to wonder if he's gay, but we'll get to that later.

"Why can't you just stay still?" Raito was not the one to fuzz or bitch back but Misa jumping, her voice screeching, is crowning him King of Migraine Town. "The sages say that patience is a virtue and certainly women should—"

"But Raito, Misa is really bored," she complained endlessly. "We haven't been going on dates. Misa doesn't see any reason why you don't want to be intimate with her."

He hated being interrupted and his facial muscles twitched with the suggestion. The excessive third-person reference to herself, that he can handle. The way she is pressuring him about sex, that's aggravating. But he calmly replies. "There are plenty of reasons."

"Like what?"

"First off, it's wasting time."

"And Raito waiting is not a waste of time?"

"Not at all." Raito badly needed an aspirin later. "Now behave."

Misa hated how this self-absorbed boyfriend of hers could just brush her off like that as if she's nobody. Well, she's not _nobody_ and she will not stand for this! She crossed her arms and debated on throwing a hissy fit but seeing that it would be too immature even for her, she decided to stand up and go somewhere else.

Ah, Misa, Misa, Misa...she flip-flops more than the footwear of the same name. Still, watching her leave, even if it's momentary relief, made Raito joyous.

Horny and bitterly disappointed of the outcome, Misa Amane entered the other room puffing air and saw that horribly-disfigured, insomniac detective L, _Ryuuzaki the perv_, sitting in the sofa, licking a Popsicle in a way only he could do.

"What's the matter, Misa-chan?" That was his welcoming phrase of the day that would allow some serious bitching.

"Raito refuses to have sex with Misa!" She blurted out without considering a moment to pause. She's too pissed to be modest. "He doesn't desire Misa at all! Misa hates it! Raito needs to be inside Misa!"

Behind the cameras, police officer Aizawa looked away from the screen and muttered a silent, "nutcase, this Amane lady..."

"Again? Yagami-kun must get frustrating because he refuses to be inside Misa-san," L, ever so socially gracious, made a slurping sound as he licked.

"I don't understand!" Misa enumerated her talents with confidence in a loud voice that would surely make the rest of the staff watching through the cameras spit in their coffee. "Misa has a good figure! Misa is willing to do any position! Misa is flexible enough! Misa likes bondage sometimes!"

L did not even change his expression, probably incapable of following emotional sentiments or unembarrassed when people talk to him about their sex lives. Or both. Still, he cocked an eyebrow when he heard the word 'bondage' and it seems he wants her to elaborate. But he inquired instead. "Misa-chan really wants to fornicate with Yagami-kun?"

"Misa does!" Misa clutched her firsts, didn't really know what 'fornicate' means but she guessed by the context that it's just another fancy term for sex. She turned to L, occupied with her current woes when she got distracted, watching L lick the Popsicle with so much enthusiasm it has to be a crime. To be quite frank, Misa did not care much about Ryuuzaki the perv because he's everything she hated about a guy: dirty, weird with no intent of compensating for it and _gluttonous._ Still, she remained in her bewildered position, wondering if that Popsicle shoved in the disgusting pervert's mouth enjoyed the way his tongue circled around it, sucking and sipping the sweet taste with restless focus. Misa had to slap herself mentally when she realized what she was doing. Was she just fantasizing about being that Popsicle? Being licked by L? Ryuuzaki the pervert? Shit.

Misa can't look away that she considered ripping her eyes out. Luckily L, Ryuuzaki the perv, didn't seem to notice. He sucked the Popsicle in repeated rhythms and Misa can almost dance to the beat he was going. Shit.

_Oh my god,_ Misa thought, _effing god._

Again, horrified with the thought that came over her, she forced it away but the more she looked at L the odd arousal deepened. But L, Ryuuzaki the perv, is dirty and unsanitary. He won't sleep so he had those big circles under his creepy eyes. He won't comb his hair so it sticks all over his head. He won't put on shoes or slippers. He insists to wear the same plain white shirt and jeans. He insists to sit in a weird way, hold things like an idiot and act so different. Too different that it was tempting to know if he could—

Ah, unmet lust in Misa's loins, thou art a persistent itch!

"Ryuuzaki-kun," Misa chimed. "Why do you like sweet things?"

"They help me think," L responded. He glanced sideways at Misa, still screwing the Popsicle. "Why does Misa-chan want to know?"

"Do you like all sweet stuff?"

"Yes," there was suddenly a flicker of glee in L's eyes. "I like to eat them all."

Misa felt too warm for her own good. She could melt.

"Ryuuzaki-kun," she implored, trying to sound innocent. "Can Misa taste that Popsicle?"

L, Ryuuzaki the _fascinating_ perv, thought about it and seemed to consider it. He nods. "But only a few licks will do. Don't bite a piece."

"Misa plans not to," Misa giggled and leaned closer, feeling victorious. L moved the Popsicle close to her mouth and she stuck her tongue out and tasted the sweet thing. Oh, wow, this is terribly sickening. She actually enjoyed doing this Popsicle in her mouth as L held it, and she could feel him watching her with a child's curiosity. She alternated her licks from gentle to savage, until she ended up knobbing the whole thing.

"Misa-chan enjoys the Popsicle too much," L, Ryuuzaki the _desirable_ perv, remarked, amused with the way the blonde beauty performed her skill. He adds. "Maybe Misa-chan wants it for herself."

"Oh, Misa wants _all_ of it." The sensation going up and down her gut is unbelievable.

"Then I'll give it to you."

"Just hold it while Misa sucks it, please." She pleaded.

L frowned slightly. "But I need to eat too."

"You have been eating too many cakes earlier," she pointed out dismissively. "Why don't you watch Misa finish the Popsicle, eh? Misa will suck all of it, ne?"

Whether L got suspicious of the implication in her statement, we won't know for now.

"Ryuuzaki-kun," she said, taking a pause from sucking the candy. She had an idea. "Can you lower the Popsicle above your lap, please?"

"Why, Misa-chan?" L narrowed his eyes, the cloud of suspicion now apparent but still hazy.

"Just do it!"

L, Ryuuzaki the _ravishing_ perv, complied. Misa got to her knees and on the floor in front of L and pulled herself up to meet the level of his lap. Then she began sucking again. L was now purely astounded of what she was doing. He was getting excited, watching her devour the Popsicle in this angle.

"Misa-chan, you make it look like I'm an amateur when it comes to eating sweets," L complimented her.

Misa stopped to take a breath then she smiled at L, welcoming him to participate. "Misa observed the way you lick, you're not that bad."

"If Misa-chan thinks so then I value her opinion." L replied, smiling awkwardly back at her. "But I really need to eat _something_. You're the one who only does the sucking."

"Oh do you also want to suck something?"

"Of course." L bit on his thumb, offhandedly adding, "you make me hungry."

And that was all it took. It was strange how he can say words like "suck," "lick," and "eat" as if _food_ is the only thing that can be sucked, licked and eaten. The blonde beauty knows too well that there are more things to be enjoyed when you are really, _really_ hungry.

Misa reached out for the sugar container. She twisted it open and dipped her fingers on it.

"You still don't have enough, Misa-chan?" L inclined his head to the side, the Popsicle melting in his fingers but he didn't seem to care.

"Misa wants to give you more." She showed him her fingers and prompted, "go on. Ryuuzaki-kun can lick them."

L's eyes widened impossibly. He nibbled on his thumb a little more. "Is it really acceptable for Misa-chan if I lick her?"

"Oh, Misa is sure!" She giggled again. "Misa is almost finished with the Popsicle anyway. Then Misa and Ryuuzaki-kun could take turns biting a piece from it."

L still looked unconvinced and he squirmed from his seat. "Ah, I appreciate Misa-chan's effort to be a good friend."

"Yes," Misa grinned. "Good friends feed each other as long as they could."

L, discarding the Popsicle to the floor, reached out and took both her wrists and began licking her fingers slowly, wiping every bead of sugar from them. Misa moaned. L didn't mind; he was concentrating on what he was doing. He tasted her skin mixed with the sugar without pausing.

"Ryuuzaki-kun?" she cooed. "Would it be all right if we go to that couch? It has a bigger space. We could sit close together."

"Would that be necessary, Misa-chan?" L frowned a little.

"Ryuuzaki shouldn't be stubborn." Misa winked at him and took a doughnut from the counter. She was appalled to see just how many stock of sweet stuff he had all around this room.

Ryuuzaki the _obedient_ perv followed Misa to the couch and was about to sit the way he always does with his feet on the couch when Misa said, "Sit properly, okay? Just this once."

"But I like the way I sit."

Misa did not listen to him and started sitting on his lap. L stiffened with the contact and did not say anything. He was looking at Misa with his round eyes as if scared of what she might do next. He was biting on his thumb harder now. Misa sat facing him, legs spread on either side.

"Ryuuzaki-san's cute." She teased.

"Misa-chan, I think we should--"

He was cut off when Misa squeezed the doughnut between her bosom. She was wearing one of those tank tops that show cleavage. She pressed the doughnut securely and watched how L would respond to this treat. "Well, does Ryuuzaki want to eat or would he like to starve?"

L got the whole idea at last.

Behind the cameras, Aizawa perspired and glanced nervously at Mogi whose reaction was unreadable but both police officers felt _perverted_ just watching this, not to mention they'll be accessories to a crime, which they have no name for yet but this sort of thing has to be fucking illegal.

L looked at Misa seriously now and said, "Misa-chan, I will eat the doughnut because you and I both know I could not resist it."

"Yes, Misa knows."

"And I might grab your breasts to dig in."

"Misa wants that."

"You must also understand that your seduction techniques are impressive and if they never worked on Raito-kun, he had to be gay."

Oh, we're getting to that.

"That is so sweet, Ryuuzaki-kun!"

"And after I finish, you will promise not to speak about this to anyone."

"And if Misa tells Raito about it?"

"Then I will ask Watari to strip you naked, Misa-chan, pour chocolate syrup on your skin and have him prepare you as my dinner."

"You are not making things easy for Misa."

Without warning, L dug his bony fingers on Misa's chest and lowered his head to bite the doughnut. He chewed slowly, taking his time as he massaged her breasts. Misa liked the way he touched her. She felt like she was one of his favorite treats that he savored by each taste. He teased those delicate fingers on her with more pressure. Her hands swept on his unruly dark hair, urging him to indulge his gluttony and use her to fulfill such wicked sin. L obliged without caring what pleasurable torment he was putting the blonde beauty into, not knowing how dreadful it would be for her if he finished eating.

"This is pornography." Behind the cameras, Aizawa speaks aloud. "I barely watch free porn on the net but I had my share. _This_ is really offensive and not the _good_ _kind_. We should turn the whole thing off, Mogi-san."

Mogi flicks the monitor screen button off as he was asked to. The two men had to make sure neither Raito nor the Chief will find out. L might talk to them about this indiscretion and might also destroy the tapes himself. Good, that would keep things here professional, not like it's the _good kind_ professional with L as the head investigator but nevertheless the task force tries to attain a bit normalcy as often as they can. And Misa-Misa porn is controversial crap they can't deal with.

"_L_," Completely unsupervised now, Misa moaned the detective's name and wished it wasn't only a single letter but a longer one so she could pronounce it, syllable by syllable.

"Yes, Misa-chan?" he looked up to her.

"What is Ryuuzaki-kun doing? Don't stop."

"But you called my name."

"That's because Misa wants to," she shoves his face back to her chest, "Ryuuzaki-kun just has to enjoy his meal, okay?"

"I'm done, Misa-chan."

"WHAT?" that angered her.

"You can get off now, Misa-chan."

Misa had never been so disappointed in her entire life but she sighed and stood up anyway. L went back to his usual sitting position and eyed her carefully.

"Misa-chan was really helpful tonight," he told her.

Misa beamed at that and decided that it wasn't such a bad experience. "Misa thinks it was too short though."

"Brevity is always the first step to longer gratification." L bit his index finger. "Misa-chan must keep that in mind."

She blushed and could not believe L, this abysmal pervert, could make her feel so wonderful and special. "Misa would surely like to do that again."

"But not too soon." L inquired. "We must be careful not to arouse any suspicion, Misa-chan. In the meantime, Misa-chan should concentrate on how to make Yagami-kun succumb."

"You're right!" she almost forgot. "He is Misa's boyfriend!"

"Good night, Misa-chan." L waved her off as he reached for a lollipop, apparently he ain't done indulging himself yet.

Misa Amane smiles and walks off surprised on how casual their activity had been. She passes Aizawa on the hall leading to her room. He greeted her but he had a funny look on his face. _Oh he saw,_ Misa thought, giggling to herself as she closes the door behind her.

She was even more surprised how willing L had been to her. She can't help but think of him as so giving and kind to do her a favor like that. And all she could ask herself is if she could have sex with that detective pervert. It sounds dangerous and exciting, kinda like in the movies!

_Next time_, she promised herself, _Misa will be the one to taste him_.


	2. Another Diabetic Encounter

_**XXX**_

_**Another Diabetic Encounter**_

Misa Amane, dressed in the usual garb of Lolitacon culture, now contemplates her boyfriend's orientation. Raito the boyfriend had faked interest on that Takada girl once but he doesn't seem too keen to chase other skirts, not even Misa's at that. He was more consumed with the Kira investigation (typical man, buried in work). So the teen icon considered that he swings the other way around which would piss her off like hell right now (_who_ would not want Misa?) but _right now_ she's also been thinking about L, _Ryuuzaki the perv_. And she was sitting in one of the lounge chairs as she watched Raito typing on his keyboard who sat across L eating cake.

Misa imagined Raito and L behind doors number one and two. Raito with his perfect face and perfect body and perfect hands typing melodically on his keyboard, ignoring Misa; L with his weird posture and weird food intake and weird eyes glancing at Misa and then ignoring everything else when he did. Which one is in door one and which one is in door two? How will Misa choose? Why would Misa even choose anyone besides Raito? Raito is perfect, _dammit_.

She was losing it. She called out to her perfect boyfriend, asking him if he has a minute to spare.

"I am working on something right now, Misa." Screw him, she should have asked if he has a heart to spare but she pretty much established that the stupid thing is not for borrowed lease either!

"I have an hour, Misa-chan." L didn't have to look behind him to guess that Misa blushed, considering she understood his meaning.

Misa thought about it. Seeing that Raito is too much of a useless piece of shit to notice her, this made her grit her teeth and sink on the chair irritably.

"Yagami-kun," L glanced at his friend. "Keep working on that program. I have to call someone in the other room."

"Why don't you do it here?" Raito stopped typing and saw that L did not like this intrusion so he assumed, "A personal call then?"

"It _is_ personal." L stood up and shoved his hands on his pockets. As he walked away, he was not looking at Misa but he carried the sugar container with him. On cue, Misa stood up and remarked haughtily, "Misa is ignoring Raito from now on!"

"Uh-huh." Raito probably heard white noise (indeed he did). He was too engrossed looking at the monitor screen, trying to search the exact room where L must be in but he couldn't find it at all.

Misa growled in frustration and went out of the room. She remembered that L asked Mogi to take down the cameras earlier where they did their thing. She suspected Aizawa must know something since he gets pale and tongue-tied around her these days. How interesting, wonder how the old guy took it.

"Misa's here," She bounced inside the room with a grin. The whole room was soaked in darkness. She was about to switch on the light but then she heard L's voice cut through the shadows, "you are so careless, Misa-chan."

"What do you mean?" she mused, finally locating him sitting on the floor. He must be staring again. Few people can stare like L can. Well, nobody Misa knew can stare like L. It's unnerving.

"Misa-chan should not try succumbing Yagami-kun in front of me," he said and watched her walked closer.

"And why is that, Ryuuzaki-kun?" Misa took another step.

"Because Misa-chan is only making me hate myself," L must have pouted. She wished she can see it. It must have been so cute.

"Why, Ryuuzaki-kun?"

"Misa-chan's charms are abhorrent to Yagami-kun." He remarked like it was obvious (and it really was) as Misa lowered herself down, sliding her arms around his neck.

"And so?" she asked sweetly.

"I have mentioned before that Misa-chan's seduction techniques impress me," he kept talking, still staring at her face.

"Get to the point." She demanded. Impatience becomes her at times like this.

L did not move like he even stopped breathing. And then he remarked. "If you seduce Yagami-kun in front of me, he would not care because I think his sexual preference is undetermined. But I myself am a man and I recently found out that Misa-chan is the kind of sweet I enjoy."

Misa didn't even see it coming. L was strong even for his scrawny stature. He pushed her to the floor. She gasped. L licked his lips and lifted up her shirt, revealing a flat stomach. He held her shirt by the tip of his fingers and tilted his head, "Misa-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Why did Misa-chan get your belly pierced?" His fingers were pushing on it.

"Misa just wants to," _Way to go to ruin the moment, Mr. Romantic._

L bit his index finger and let her shirt drop back to her body. He opened the sugar container. Then he lifted up her shirt again. He put the sugar on her stomach. Misa had to hold onto something or she might convulse in pleasure. When he was satisfied with his work, L lowered himself down and forced Misa's legs apart. Misa gasped again. L positioned himself between her legs and started to lick her stomach. Ravenously. In the darkness she could only produce soft moans as she coaxed L to keep going, don't ever, _ever, _stop.

"Ryuuzaki!" she giggled in delight when she started to feel ticklish.

"Please call me L, Misa-chan."

"L!"

L's tongue moved in swift expertise, licking and sipping, running his wet ligament on her bare skin freely. He placed his hands on her breasts and pushed himself up. Misa grabbed him by the neck and kissed him, leaving both of them breathless. She grinded herself against L. and his eyes were still open, shocked with the encounter of their tongues. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer. L obliged, excited by the warm sensation her body emits. He kept his hands on her breasts but awkwardly so. Misa sits up, wraps her legs around him and starts taking off his shirt.

"Misa-chan," he broke off the kiss, panting.

"What now?" she snapped angrily, annoyed with the interruption. She has no time to waste when all she wanted was to be wasted.

"Please don't undress me," he seemed to have frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to get naked." Mr. Obvious.

"That's silly!" Misa fumed in exasperation. "Misa would get naked too. It's only fair that Ryuuzaki-kun would strip as well."

"Misa-chan must understand that she is being irreconcilable." L suddenly stood up.

"What with Ryuuzaki-kun's change of attitude?"

"If you want to fornicate with me, Misa-chan, there are rules you should follow." L leaned against the table behind him. "Misa-chan should always remember to be a good friend. You should always put my needs first. You should be able to pleasure me if you agree to what I don't want to do. When Misa-chan does that without her usual style outbursts, I will go down on her just the way she likes it."

_I will go down on her just the way she likes it_. _I will go down on her just the way she likes it_. Misa couldn't contain herself. "Now could you please _fuck_ Misa now?"

"I also don't allow Misa-chan to use filthy language." L added.

"So what will Misa say to show that she wants Ryuuzaki-kun?" Misa asked. "Like, say, 'fornicate with Misa, L' or 'please have sexual intercourse with Misa, L' or 'penetrate Misa's vagina, L?" Sarcasm is cute.

"You're too graphic, Misa-chan," L bit on his index finger again and smiled. "You can just say that you want me to _eat_ you."

Misa, reaching out to a lampshade and turning it on, pierced L with a smoldering gaze. "_Eat me_, L."

L smiled happily like that of a child with a brand new toy. He took Misa up from her position and kissed her with more passion than she could handle. He pushed her to the wall, pressing his whole body against hers. For once his awkward habits and ticks disappeared, leading Misa to believe that the perv really is more of man than she ever could have guessed.

He held her by the waist and started licking her from her neck down to her chest. Biting her tenderly. Misa kept moaning, "Eat me, eat me, eat me..."

L undressed her from top first. He did this with much disdain, apparently annoyed with all the buttons and strings. He discarded her garb of Lolita bullshit somewhere. They sank to the floor, Misa only clothed in matching violet brassier and panties.

"So that's why you address her as _Misa-chan_ earlier." Raito stood there, holding Misa's cheeky abomination of a dress and waving it around. Pretending to wipe his forehead with the dress, he says. "Is it just me or is it suddenly hot in here?"

"It's probably just us, Yagami-kun," L spoke in monotone and did not take his hands off Misa's breasts. "We are fornicating. Friction is an important element—"

"Shut up, Ryuuzaki-kun!" Misa pushed him away from her and covered herself with a pillow from the sofa. She's flabbergasted and ashamed, blurting. "Raito, Misa can explain—!"

"I found something." Raito remarked, glancing briefly at L who stood up and took Misa's dress from him. Both men treated the whole thing like it was mundane. Raito explained that there are leads with a corporation group called the Yotsuba and L poked the buttons on the dress, nodding.

"Let's check it out then," L answers and then smiles blankly at Misa. "Thank you for being a good friend, Misa-chan." He looks so wrong all of a sudden.

"Misa is gonna need her dress back." She silently says.

L tossed it back at her and followed Raito outside.

"Raito!" Misa called out, quickly dressing herself. She tripped slightly and reached out to grab Raito on his sleeve. "Do you hate Misa for what she's done with Ryuuzaki-kun?" She wanted to cry but she fought it off.

L did not stop walking, hunching like the imbecile Misa always knew he is. Meanwhile Raito blinked several times as if this is the first time he saw Misa today. With a slight shrug of his shoulders, he replied. "Not really. But _good for you_, Misa."

Smiling to show his indifference and then dropping it quickly to show that this doesn't surprise him at all, Raito takes Misa's hand off his sleeve and begins to walk away, leaving Misa still reaching as she stared farther away to the two doors, one and two, closing noiselessly in a distance.


	3. Three is not a crowd

**XXX**

**_Three is not a crowd but a _****part-ay!**

Raito dated. He kissed, forplayed, fucked. None of it was of any importance. It was simply a matter of giving in to his lesser instincts to consummate as a man. And 'virginity' is for sissies who don't shatter their shells; and Raito is an advocate of self-righteous choices and he believed profoundly that engaging in sex is just one of the things one must do for information and perhaps technique and leverage. Sex is an act of dismantling your inhibitions even if you have to pretend emotional connection with your mate. It only takes thirty minutes to do this anyway so Raito figured he can spare an amount of humanity for half an hour, _exactly_ half an hour, thirty minutes, one thousand eight hundred seconds. Exactly.

Like any other day around the headquarters, Raito prepared his constitution for stressful long hours of internet surfing, analyzing and comparing the data documents of the Yotsuba group. The financial rank of the said company is suspiciously escalating, with its competitors' bosses suddenly dying of, get this, _heart attacks._ How convenient if Kira (L formed a theory that this is a different Kira) is now a big-time tycoon in suit. Gee, joy. Working for L is another delightful experience. Raito, his father and along with the other men are on a strict caffeine-and-doughnuts diet, provided of course by Watari. L's strictest order is to keep the coffee pouring and the sweets on every reachable distance. This is starting to feel like one of those nightmarish half-awake realities: men pushing the envelope of their stamina as food and health only appear questionable if you dwell too much on them.

In addition to being metaphysically incapable of eating normally, the police officers are not comfortable working alongside the outlaws Aiber and Wedy. Aiber the con-artist, Wedy the thief. This is some sort of twisted whacko illusion with management (L) and crew (them, the puppets) fighting the injustice (Kira) of this world. Raito sometimes amuses himself with stupid thoughts, a chore he vowed never to do, but when your blood system mingles with caffeine and sugar, there are not much options to begin with. Unless of course you shoot yourself.

_I'm not there yet_. Raito blinked as he stared into the computer screen for the seventh hour of the day. _I'm not going mad yet_. Moving his mouse, he clicked on a hyperlink and a series of pop-ups featuring people frolicking scattered distastefully across his screen. Brilliant.

Misa wasn't around to break the monotony. For three days she stayed locked in her room. Raito, through surveillance, could see her painting her nails or reading her mags. She never once looked at the camera. For three days. She has been playing some punk bullshit loud enough to tear the space between her room and the control room. Aizawa and Mogi actually found this noise better than silence and Matsuda knew the songs and (to everyone's aversion) sings along. Misa had never gone out to see Raito so she could whine or pet him or—god, he _misses her_! He knew it! Not eating properly and sleeping well is starting to show early signs of dementia.

It wasn't his fault that Misa and L participated in a blatant lack of discretion. What is it to him, he could never answer yet, but Raito found himself thinking about that incident for hours and hours now. He was overcome by a probing sensation when he remembers what Misa and L did together inside that room. It was fascinating, the way they touched each other. Disgusting, how he finds _that_ fascinating. He had no idea why he felt…envious (!) Oh gods of inferno, he feels envious (?) because L pleasured Misa? He recalled hearing Misa's moans from afar as he approached the room. If only he wasn't puzzled as to why L addressed Misa as 'Misa-_chan_,' Raito wouldn't have come to investigate. And he ends up seeing stuff that damaged him exclusively for the next two weeks or so. He had to get out of the headquarters for some clear air but he didn't want L to get the wrong idea. Not like it was unpleasant, the _groping _and the _kissing _and—it was just weird. L and Misa? Misa and L? _L and Misa! Misa and L!_

Raito pinches the bridge of his nose. He cancels the pop-up windows splashing obscenity in his sight. Really, what gives? It's not like he found Misa special. She was just another piece of meat but she is a _fine_ piece of meat at that. If he had more time in his hands, would he have done her already? Three days ago, he was opposed to the idea so what the hell is he thinking about right now? World famous L with his complete disregard for convention makes Raito look like a pampered, genius Ken doll while L is the one who plays around with Barbie, _his _Barbie.

A pop-up ad blinks colorfully, telling him he won something. Raito cancels the window, snarling a little. That Misa. She just had to mess around with a first-class detective just because she has an itch that Raito doesn't want to scratch. Raito wants to deny it but he found a lot of things stimulating about L. Are they latent sexual feelings, Raito wondered, but he got a hold of himself before thinking of _that_ further. He would rather not cross that line. He cannot be gay, no even for L—or for anyone. True, the prospect of engaging with the same sex crossed his mind twice, thanks to this high school teacher he had so much respect for. He couldn't deny that he was attracted to said teacher, and he feared that attraction, hated everything about it and _himself_ in the process. Now L is just L—he should not cross a risky line.

Now he thought about Hanazaki-sensei again, damn it. Raito carefully entertained the thought. He recalled freshman year with deliberate vagueness so not to relive the confusion. Back then, Hanazaki-sensei applauded his insights in class. He always asked Raito to stay behind and they would talk about subjects advance for his age. Hanazaki-sensei admired his easy confidence and wit, he told the young Raito once, and that he had the most honest eyes he's ever seen. Then he reaches out and brushes a strand of hair from Raito's forehead. He was twenty-three or something but when he smiled he looks about the same age as his students. Raito wanted to pursue the feelings he had since those meetings. There he was, young Raito infatuated with a male teacher, how—

"Damn fucking pop-up bullshit," Raito cuts off his line of thoughts and starts clicking angrily across his monitor. He dragged the weight of the mouse around like it did something to upset him. This made L glance at him.

"Yagami-kun?"

Raito glared at the infuriating specimen beside him. He managed a polite but cold, "Yes, what?"

"You look like you're preoccupied with something that displeases you."

"Not really. The pop-up windows are just too much sometimes."

"You should turn on the blocking system."

Why didn't he think about that—oh, he wants L _dead_ right now for thinking something so simple before Raito did. Dead.

"Thank you, Ryuuzaki, that's a helpful advice." He smiles gently and tries avoiding eye contact. He then rubs his eyes with his knuckles and stifles a yawn. _Misa_, he had to talk to Misa. "Can I be excused, Ryuuzaki? I need to see my girlfriend."

He proclaimed it so casually when he never once had done that. It made L narrow his eyes suspiciously and the rest of the staff looked at their direction. Matsuda even cheered, "Eh, about time, Raito-kun! Misa-Misa is lonely right now too."

"Yes, that's why I need to see her." Raito stood up and stretched his arms. "Besides, I think she must be mad at me or something." The last statement was addressed specifically to give L a hint that Raito plans to talk to Misa about what happened.

The insomniac detective simply dismissed Raito with a wave of a hand. He then turned off the monitor where Misa's room is being watched over. This made Matsuda ask, "Ryuuzaki-kun, are you finally going to give them privacy to make out?"

Aizawa coughs violently. "Stop babbling like an idiot, Matsuda, and go back to work."

Raito sighed. He was glad that his father was taking a leak or something. He left the control room and arrived at Misa's room in no time. He knocked three times. "Misa? It's me. Can I come in?"

The punk bullshit she calls music was still jarring Raito's eardrums. Misa flings open the door and immediately launches into his arms. Raito almost fell back but he managed to hold her in a steady position. She was crying. This is not always a good sign.

"Misa is sorry! Please don't be mad at Misa! Misa is so, so sorry!" She was sobbing louder now and if it wasn't for the punk music, Raito would have found her cries noisier but less annoying. He couldn't be so hard on her. He didn't come here to antagonize her. He really didn't care if she wants to have sex with L. He just wants her to tell him exactly how she wants to settle this with him so they could all move on and work the Kira case—

Wait a second.

"Misa, please look at me." Raito held her face with both his hands. For a moment her eyes cleared from the tears. This gesture is always effective with irrational females. It makes them feel relevant. Raito knows that so he stayed that way, looking into her eyes heavy with eye shadow and mascara and pretends to like them. "Look, okay, I'm not mad at you. I think that if it makes you happy then you should go for it. I don't really see a problem with it."

"But isn't Raito jealous?"

Keep her calm, keep her calm. "Well, I was at first, to tell you the truth. But I realized we shouldn't be exclusive."

"Misa is not okay. Misa feels bad!"

"I understand, sweetheart. Please don't cry. I don't like seeing you like this." Raito smiles genuinely now. He rubs her cheeks tenderly.

Misa is smiling back, holding his hands on hers. "Raito is always so kind to Misa," she says softly. And of course Raito saw it. This is usually how it goes. This time he allowed Misa to reach out to him as he bends down and meets her halfway. Their lips met and she held onto him around his shoulders. He kissed her with softness that he knew girls liked and then he deepens the kiss after several seconds. He lets their mouths linger for another minute. Counting from ten to backwards, he begins to withdraw gracefully. Misa looks dazed.

"Raito must know he will always be Misa's love, okay?" she coos.

"Okay." Raito smiles again and pulls her into a safe embrace. He gathers her small frame and sighs into her hair. He doesn't mind this closeness because Misa only becomes irritating when she's in one of her unstoppable cheerful moods. But this he could handle and gradually enjoy. This is a perfect opening for his proposal.

"That was not half-bad, wasn't it?" Raito pulls her face close to his as he murmured against her lips. "But I'm sure the taste of L's saliva is sticky that it stays longer than it should. Too much sugar, maybe."

Misa winced. "Misa is happy that Raito kissed her! Do you want to have sex with Misa now? Misa will make it up to you."

"Actually there is one thing that I want you to do again," Raito fondled her hair, smiling at her surprised expression. Something is starting to stir inside Raito and he's about to see how deep it goes. He says. "I want you to seduce L for me."

"Why would Raito want Misa to do that!" she exclaimed defiantly. "What's on Raito mind? Why would Raito do this to Misa?" She was starting to cry again. He frowned and shushed her, pressing his lips against hers again.

When he pulled away, he looked into her eyes with as much authority as he can master and said. "Don't try to be so incorrigible, Misa. I understand you more than you know. I understand how you feel about Ryuuzaki."

Misa kept shaking her head until Raito held it in place with his hands. She starts talking. "Misa wasn't thinking of going too far. She wanted Raito to be her first. Ryuuzaki-san was just rebound for her."

"You lie, Misa." Raito hardened his stare. "L is more than a snack to you."

Misa froze, terrified and small in all her beauty and devotion to Raito. And then she responded. "Tell Misa something. Does Raito want Misa to have sex with Ryuuzaki?"

"Perhaps." Raito didn't even pause to think about his answer. Misa's eyes widened. "And don't judge me for this, Misa. I want to be able to trust you, okay? Like the way you trust me."

"Okay." Misa mumbled.

"I haven't told anyone about this but I—" Raito takes a deep breath and lets it all go. "I find some men attractive most of the time and I guess Ryuuzaki is one of them. Do you understand what I'm saying, Misa? I'm, well, attracted to Ryuuzaki too."

Misa's eyes went dead for a while.

"Oh, don't look so crushed," Raito laughed, fondling Misa's cheeks. "I want to have sex with you tonight if you like."

Misa brightens up when she heard that. She hugged Raito tightly.

"There is one condition."

Misa crossed her arms together and scoffed. "Boys and their rules. It makes Misa sick." She paused. "Um, is Raito serious about what he said earlier?"

"Yes, Misa, I am attracted to Ryuuzaki." Raito wanted to roll his eyes but didn't. "Boundaries are important but right now I am removing one boundary."

"Misa doesn't understand."

"How do you like it if you get to have sex with me and Ryuuzaki at the same time?"

"WHAT?" Misa's voice is now louder than the punk music in the background. "Why would Raito suggest—Raito wants the three of us to—? But Ryuuzaki is—and he told Misa he always suspected Raito was gay and Misa thinks Ryuuzaki's preference would be women so—_Argh_!"

Raito felt insulted for some reason but he smiled. "I think you should consider the possibility that maybe L is asexual. I think he is. Come on, Misa! Let me ask you again: Would you or would you not want me and Ryuuzaki at the same time?"

Misa looks lost for a moment. She bit her lip down and wanted Raito but it would be too awkward if L would be there. She could just imagine L interrupting or spoiling the mood with his random questions of things.

But the idea is just so...

"Okay," Misa reluctantly agrees. And then she smiled at last. "Misa will do what Raito wants, anything Raito wants."

She really didn't mean that like she used to. But with her boyfriend Raito she just has to swallow the fact that she is also a human being who possesses feelings so she could do everything he tells her especially if she loves him so much that she is ready to die for him.

An hour passed and Raito gave her the opportunity to be alone with L but she still has no clue how she could tell him. Finally, the detective noticed the tension.

"Does Misa-chan want to play with me again?" he asked.

"Doesn't Ryuuzaki-kun think he should slow down after Raito had found out about him and Misa?" she colored deeply.

"Relax, Misa-chan." L frowned, looking offended. "I just wanted to cheer you up. I just want to be a good friend."

Misa hated him. Hated how he managed to make her feel so—

"It's okay, Ryuuzaki-kun, Misa is not angry with you." Misa sighed.

"It amazes me though."

"What does?"

"How Misa-chan affords to be pretty even though she seems sad," he remarked with his childish smile, biting his index finger.

Raito never compliments her with so much honesty and Misa feels like she does not deserve this kind of treatment, especially from him. L is starting to get so comfortable around her. It may also seem like he was reaching out to her, possibly wanting for something else. Could it be really that?

She watched as L stared blankly at the opposite wall, chewing on his thumb. Misa often thought that maybe she deserves to be with a guy like L than with a guy like her Raito. Was she thinking of falling in love with L?

A part of her who loves Raito unconditionally protested but another part of her wonders eternally. She wonders if it would be different; and if this time she will be loved back. Impossible. L is somewhat as detached as Raito most days.

But in most days when he's not…

"Misa and Ryuuzaki-kun will always be good friends, okay?"

_And that is all we could have._

"I guess it makes perfect sense if Misa-chan would be a good friend to me," L grinned. "I like Misa-chan a lot."

Misa hated him for that again. He looked at her so normally as if the circumstances between them were not a simple steamy interaction; as if what happened was not only a single moment of meaningless passion for him. His eyes remained gentle and welcoming. He kept his hands to himself and talked to her politely. He actually treated her with so much respect, with so much warmth.

"Misa wants to kiss you, Ryuuzaki-kun"

He stares. "Misa-chan can do that."

She leaned closer to him and planted a small kiss against his lips. Then she leaned back to her chair and watched his puzzled reaction.

"Why did Misa-chan kiss me like that?"

"Because she wants to be more than a good friend," she implied. "She wants to be a _great_ friend."

L just stared at her. He stayed like that for a long time.

"Misa-chan looks happy again." L finally said. "Did I cause her change of mood?"

"In many ways." Misa smiled. "Listen Ryuuzaki-kun, Misa wants to play again with you tonight."

"Really?" His eyes narrowed.

"But wait until Misa says so," Misa smiles suggestively. "We are going to do something different, okay?"

"I understand," L nods.

Misa went back to her room and glanced at her watch. Yes, there is enough time to pull this off. She saw Raito ten minutes after that.

"Misa has a plan," she told him. "Go to the room with no cameras and wait for Misa there."

Raito cocks an eyebrow. "Make sure it works."

"Oh, it will," Misa winked at him before she went to the door and left.

With this, she gets to give Raito what he wants. With this, she could feel L's touch on her again, something she was thankful for. With this, she might figure out whom to love for real.

It was almost nine in the evening.

L's cell phone vibrated inside his pocket. He fumbled through it, lifted it up using the tips of his fingers and moved it some inches away from his ear. "Misa-chan?"

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Ryuuzaki-kun!" she answered brightly.

"It's fine," he replied. "Are you in the room?"

"Yes." Then she hung up.

L frowned and pushed himself from the chair. He walked on the hallway and stepped on something. When he looked down, he was surprised to see a chocolate bar. He picked it up and stared. He looked at the floor again and saw another one. L scratched his head and picked it up. And then he started to walk. Just a few inches away, he saw another one. The more he walked, the more chocolate bars appeared. He had at least eight of them now. L smiled at this, knowing that this is the game Misa wants to play with him.

He was literally crawling now, picking up the chocolate bars, keeping himself on the trail. When he turned to the corner, he gasped to see this time they were candy canes. He picked up a dozen of them. When he reached a staircase he saw cupcakes this time. L was pleased how Misa thought about this. This really grabs his attention.

He gets near the room and instead of sweet treats, he was now holding a bra. He proceeded further and more brassieres were scattered in all colors and designs. L dropped the chocolate bars, cupcakes and candy canes and concentrated picking up the undergarments instead. He was grinning, fascinated.

_Misa-chan sure does have a wide range of wardrobe_, he thought as he picked up his first set of panties. They were pink with ruffles. L held it by the end of his fingers, turning it in all angles.

The hell with this! He picked up everything as fast as he could, making sure nothing is left. He was really finding it a hard time to walk with all the baggage in his arms. When he got to the room, he collapsed on the floor, lying tiresomely around a pool of sweets and underwear.

"It's about time."

L looked across the room and saw Raito just sitting there.

"Yagami-kun, did you see Misa-chan? We are supposed to fornicate at this hour."

Raito laughed at the way L said it. He replied. "Do you mind if I watch?"

"The last time we were engaging on our affair, Yagami-kun was rude to intervene." L sat up and looked at his adversary calmly. "Does Yagami-kun plan to play the game as well?"

"If I could have your permission."

"Then I say no."

Raito faked a pained expression. "Why not?"

"It would mean that I have to fornicate with Yagami-kun," L explained coolly. "And though I am flattered, I denounce playing both fields as you obviously do. Where is Misa-chan?"

"I asked her to get something." Raito walked towards L and reached out to take a brassier, eyeing it. "And what are you saying about my sexuality earlier? How do you say I play for both sides?"

L nibbled at his thumb. "You give off that vibe."

"What vibe?" Raito looked annoyed.

"The bisexual vibe."

"Well, I have never had lovers of the same sex before."

"And neither will you have one at this very moment."

"Can I still watch?"

"Why does Yagami-kun suddenly have the impulse to watch me fornicate with his girlfriend?" Captain Sensitive.

"That sounds quite rhetoric." Raito remarked.

"Okay, I see your point, Yagami-kun!" L wriggled his fingers in a dramatic fashion. He hunches further and explains, "I can allow you to watch but if I change my mind or get tired, it can be your turn with her."

Oh, you bastard. If only Misa can hear this. Raito grins and asks. "And when will it be my turn with you?"

"Yagami-kun, I'm _really_ flattered," he answers. "But truth is—"

Raito was fast. He pushed his mouth against the wide-eyed detective's, his hand cradling the back of his head. When he felt L's breath against his own, he got really excited. Raito understood now all those prepubescent feelings he had. He understood that he is after all quite bisexual with his choice of partners. And like hell he cared. L, meanwhile, is desirable for a freaky, abnormal person. And he tasted sweet, it's almost nauseating. But acceptable.

"Yagami-kun..." L muttered when Raito took a step back to watch his reaction.

"Don't you feel challenged?"

"If I tell you that I masturbate whenever I think of you, would you stop it?"

"Do you do that?" Raito mocks, emphasizing. "Masturbate? Think of me? _At the same time_?" Insert sarcasm here.

"No. I don't masturbate. I do think of you. And if you are Kira."

"Again with the accusation. And everyone masturbates, don't lie." Raito crossed his arms. "Are you shy about that?"

"My privacy is my business."

"And what about mine?"

"You asked Misa-chan for this, didn't you?" L unwrapped a chocolate bar.

"Yes."

"I figured as much."

"We don't have time to waste on this, Ryuuzaki." Raito said sternly. "Misa is willing to have sex with the two of us _at the same time_."

"Would she be able to satisfy us both _at the same time_, Yagami-kun?"

Raito thought about that. "I suppose not."

"I figure as much as well."

"Then how about a deal?" Raito suggested. "Misa wants me. You want her. I want you. Do you see that?"

"Yes, Yagami-kun." L gave him the flat eyes. "I can see you are a self-proclaimed homosexual. Very disappointing for your bisexuality."

"As I was saying," Raito continued, choosing to ignore the inflammatory remark. "While she satisfies you, I will satisfy her. And you will satisfy me."

"But I want to satisfy Misa-chan first." L complained.

"Okay then." Raito agreed. "But when it is my turn with her, you will satisfy me."

"I'm confused, Yagami-kun."

"Then we should have it spontaneously."

"But we are too systematic for spontaneous."

"Yes, I cannot settle for that." Raito replied. "But we need to reach an agreement here so what will you choose?"

"I will settle with my first decision," L answered. "I won't have sex with you."

"That is unlikely," Raito was starting to lose patience. "That deal is already made. I will forbid Misa to engage with you if I'm not included, you see. So what you're left to do is to choose how the three of us will proceed."

L nibbled on his thumb. The silence reminded Raito of Hanazaki-sensei; his quiet contemplation is always this eerie silence. But it made young Raito back then tense; especially when it was the day he finally confessed his feelings for the teacher.

And L is munching on that chocolate bar. Still, Raito waited for him to finish eating.

"How about Yagami-kun observes our fornication first." He suggested. "And then I will watch your own fornication with Misa-chan. We will have thirty minutes with her each. And afterwards—"

"She will be the one observing." Raito grinned.

"Yagami-kun, you are revolting."

Raito laughed. He smugly eyed the other man. "When Misa gets back here, let's tell her how we have decided, Ryuuzaki."

L was now devouring a cupcake. He pointed at the pile of undergarments and asked. "So do we get to keep her stuff? I ask because we should have a system as to how we divide the property." He fixed his eyes on a pair of green panties.

Raito raises an eyebrow. "You can have anything you like in her underwear collection, Ryuuzaki." He reaches inside his pocket and calls up Misa's cell. Speed dial helps greatly in urgent situations. And when the night is young, the wild will play.


	4. Some people are clueless

_**XXX**_

_**Some people are clueless**_

"You've got to be shitting with Misa."

The habitat of a teen idol is a foreboding location for highly-cerebral men like Raito and L. The said room was dressed up in a way Misa dresses herself everyday; suffocated in black material and frills that modern pop culture would call cute and glamorous. But what about the skull and blood imprints on the furniture? Where's the pink? The glitter? All the normal girlie stuff? His sister's room was an oasis compared to Misa's. And Raito is talking about a Hello Kitty-festive-inferno when he mentions his sister's room. Inside this unfamiliar territory, Raito tried to avoid eye contact with the Goth dolls before him that look terrifyingly real with those googly eyes of theirs. Sickening.

Misa sat on one of those ridiculous high chairs sprinkled with something that looks like cross marks. She was shaking her head in disbelief as the two men whom she had revealed her most inner desires; one man she loved without a doubt until the other man gave her something she could not easily take for granted, shared their plans for tonight's activity. And so: "You've got to be shitting with Misa."

Raito's face was neutral. He tries to be even though the satanic dolls are freaking him out. He was even gripping a pillow covered in violet feathers just to keep himself calm but the pulse on his neck still throbbed. If he stays here much longer he will be claustrophobic. L, on the other hand, was biting a chocolate bar, apathetic to the point of abnormality (doesn't even beg the question "what's new?") while he's also holding Misa's brassier with keen interest.

"We shit you not, Misa-chan." He answers.

Misa frowns, grabs one of her ponytails and inquires. "But why should Misa agree to this crazy idea? She's not happy about this. Raito?"

"If we begin now, we'll still have time to accomplish the whole thing tonight." Her boyfriend ignored the skeletal puppy dog near his foot as he steps forward.

"Hold on!" Misa squirmed on her throne and grabs the brassier from L's clutch. "Misa wants Raito to be her first! Misa, _like_, waited forever!"

"I see," Raito drones. "Then if it is okay with Ryuuzaki—"

"It is not," L swallows the last bite, eyeing the two of them. "I told Misa-chan that I get uncomfortable every time she seduces Yagami-kun in front of me. I would be all right if I would have her first before Yagami-kun."

"Well then, Misa—"

"Ryuuzaki-kun is such a pervert!" Misa protested. "Misa and Ryuuzaki-kun are good friends, ne? _Like_, basically, Raito is Misa's boyfriend! So he should, _like_, have Misa first! And Ryuuzaki-kun doesn't have to watch if he doesn't want to."

"Misa-chan is, _like_, hurting my feelings." Expressionless face. "Misa-chan is, _like_, destroying my heart by repeatedly hitting it with a hammer."

Raito kicks the skeletal puppy dog at last. "Can we not argue about this anymore? I'm, _like_, pissed right now with all your colloquial nonsense! You know, _like, totally_." He glares.

"I have no idea that Yagami-kun is capable of such a spiteful, ironical statement."

"Misa wants Raito to be her first!"

"Oh, I'm capable of a lot of things when people don't get things done around here."

"Why isn't anyone listening to Misa?"

L looks defeated. He turns his attention back to the blonde princess. "I understand Misa-chan. Like I said before, her love for Yagami-kun is the greatest thing in the world and she is the only woman right for Yagami-kun—"

"I have no idea you're capable of such a spiteful, ironical statement either, Ryuuza—"

"—and even if I have been involved with her in sexual foreplays, I would never claim her as mine. So now that I have expressed my argument, I must concur that Yagami-kun must have her first."

Raito and Misa watched the great detective for a while. L tilts his head to the side. "What are you looking at? You've never seen a hypocrite before?"

Someone is at the door, knocking. When Raito answered it, he made sure that the door was half-open to avoid the person outside see the underwear scattered on the floor (_Damn Ryuuzaki dropped all of them around the room_!).

It was just Matsuda. The idiot. "Raito-kun, Ryuuzaki, Misa-Misa!" he greets them, waving a hand too enthusiastically on Raito's face. "I just came over here to tell you guys we're having a game in the control room. You feel like joining us?"

"What game?"

"A drinking game! Oh, hell yes, you heard me! It's gonna be fun! It's gonna be great!" The only phrase missing in this pep talk is _Yay!_ Raito grimaced.

L peeked at Matsuda from behind Raito. "I am inclined to believe that this is Wedy's idea. She's very engaged in whatever alcohol-induced frivolity is available."

"So she found your liquor cabinet, huh?"

"Where did Raito-kun get the idea—okay, yes, I do have a liquor cabinet but I'm not that much of a drinker, say, compared to Wedy."

"I'm surprised you even drink _at _all." Raito cocks an eyebrow. "Your glucose levels must be off-the-roof by now. Why would you even want to indulge a liver shut-down? Excess is your lifestyle, Ryuuzaki. One of these days it will kill you."

"Your condescending concern for my reckless welfare is suspicious, Yagami-kun."

Raito did not argue with that. He looks at Matsuda again. "And who else are the participants of said game?"

"Hmm, let's see now…there's Wedy. And Watari. Mogi-san and Aizawa-san went home...so that leaves me!"

"Six players then," L pushed off Raito's hand on the door knob.

Raito glared in amusement. "You actually want to play a drinking game, Ryuuzaki?"

"Surprised, Yagami-kun?" L gave him one of his crooked smiles.

Misa pushed the two of them out of the room all of a sudden. She slammed the door after she got out and she eyed the three men decidedly. "Misa doesn't see a problem with this. Misa probably needs alcohol right now."

Matsuda twirled around. "Okey-dokey! Everything's gonna be hunky-dory!"

_Idiot_, thought the geniuses.

Back in the control room, Wedy, in skintight leather with leopard spots, was posed into an FHM cover-worthy position, cleavage popping, cancer stick sizzling in one hand. Wedy wore the trademark dark glasses and smoked to offend a chimney. Across her goddess form was the almost-senile-but-a-badass-sniper-in-reality Watari, L's reliable caretaker. He already prepared the cups and the booze and he greeted the four of them with a curt bow.

"This is a nice idea, Wedy." L hopped to a sofa. He was between Watari and Raito. Matsuda the idiot sat between the two Barbie dolls, teenage and middle-aged.

"Boredom is a bitch." Wedy remarked. She crushed the cigarette in one of the strawberry ashtrays L placed around for fun. She uncrossed her legs. "We're gonna play _'I have never'_ which, unless you're L, is common junior-high shit you used to play with pals. The rules of the game are simple: a person will say 'I have never' and the thing he or she hasn't done and then drink. If another person had indeed done the said thing, he or she had to drink too. The players go in circle with their _I have never_s. Honesty to all, okay? And then the first one to get drunk will be punished severely."

"Let's raise the stakes." L suggested.

Wedy adjusted her glasses. "Go on."

"In addition to drinking alcohol," L said. "The person should be required to take off a part of his clothing or an accessory."

"All right, that's what I'm talking about!" Matsuda waved his arm up. "_Drinking-strip game_!"

Wedy lit another cigarette and blew it across Matsuda's face with all intention. She asked L. "Who did _you_ screw around with?"

L thought it was rhetorical. He remarked instead. "Since it's my liquor cabinet, I suggest the choices of poison would be beer for the _I have never_ individual and a tequila shot for the second person who had."

"And once two have drunk, one should announce the _I have never_ while the other one strips." Wedy adds.

Cups were passed around. Matsuda drank the beer first and then he proclaimed, "_I have never_ stolen any money from anybody."

"Thief and proud of it." Wedy drinks her cup. She took off her dark glasses, revealing a pair of blue eyes. "_I have never_ taken pictures of anybody naked."

Misa drinks her shot. So did Watari. Horrified glances ensue.

L explained to the group. "I believe it was a one-time occurrence with this past maid of ours. The details are blurry."

"Oh..." Followed by silence.

Wedy gestures her cigarette around as she talked. "So who strips?"

Watari smiled at Misa and, in courtesy, takes off his tie.

So Misa said. "Misa has never fantasized about someone of the same sex."

Nobody moved. And then Wedy drinks a shot, giggling knowingly. So did Raito. Matsuda drinks up too and everybody just thought he didn't understand the question. He was obviously wasted. Wedy takes off her shoe and lets Raito do the talking. "_I have never _lost my virginity to an older woman."

Matsuda drinks up again, stands up, dances around as he undoes his tie seductively and throws it across the room. "Her name is Ayami-san and she's my mother's best friend! Hell yeah!"

"Sit or I'll squash my cigarette inside your earlobe."

And sit he did. He thought of something for a while and, clapping his hands together, announced. "_I have never_ eaten dried fish."

L gulps down the tequila. He doesn't even have accessories, just clothes (not even shoes). In a moment of deliberate certainty, he takes off his jeans.

Wedy whistles. "If L gets to drink up again, he should take off his boxers!"

Both Misa and Raito consented to that. Silently.

"_I have never_ played around with girls and used them for my satisfaction." L said.

Raito raised an eyebrow, swallowed his shot and then took off his shirt. He unbuttons it slowly for effect, allowing Misa and Wedy to enjoy the view. Tease.

Wedy applauds. Matsuda was possibly enjoying it as well.

"_I have never_ truly loved someone." Raito concluded as the ultimate finality.

Without hesitation, Misa downed the shot, even though something inside her died when she realized Raito didn't truly love anyone (which also means he didn't love _her _either). Wedy was about to drink but she lowered her shot glass, looking off in contemplation (if not remorse of some sort). Matsuda drank once again (AND NO ONE CARED). Watari, just like Wedy, didn't drink either. He was watching L, who held his shot glass with two fingers as if he only realized its presence, but the tequilla never touched his lips too.

Misa took off her studded belt while saying, "Misa has never liked sweets" (even though Matsuda was supposed to be the one to say his own turn of _I have never_).

Matsuda (who ignored the fact that he was supposed to be the one to say his turn of _I have never_, the dumbass) was going to drink but Raito elbowed him square on the chest, leaving him paralyzed and only L to drink and strip all by himself.

Wedy exploded in laughter. "So L! Take off that shirt! Or go for the boxers, your choice!"

The shirt had to go, L thought.

Wedy nudged Misa. "Don't you just wish you could sleep with the both of them?"

Misa winced. "It never crossed Misa's mind."

Wedy crushes her cigarette on the strawberry ashtray. "Seems to me like the two of you are trying to get each other naked."

L said, "_I have never_ engaged in foreplay with anybody but my lover."

"Oh, I never had a boyfriend," Wedy said aloud, staring blankly at her cup." Multiple sex partners, yes."

"Me neither," Matsuda looked down. "I haven't gone out with a girl long enough to develop a relationship." He was sinking towards Wedy.

"If you sob on me, I'll hit you with the champagne bottle, I swear to god."

Watari swigs a shot to their (utter horror) surprise. And Misa did too.

"Misa should be the one to strip," Wedy said. "Watari is done with that."

The blonde princess decided to take off her stockings, seducing L as he watched. Even Raito found it amusing. Matsuda was drooling.

"Naughty girl!" Wedy slapped her in the ass. Misa laughed.

"_I have never_ used latex gloves to arouse my partner during sex." Watari proclaimed out of nowhere. It made them forget for a while that they were playing a game.

And the Wedy drinks up, winking. "Oh, so you know about that!" She unzips her one-piece leather leotard and peels it off like second skin. "_I have never_ had sex yet with my current boyfriend!"

Misa took off her bracelet. Luckily she had many. And then she drinks up.

"Misa has never negotiated sex with anybody." That was below-the-belt but what the F, Misa took her shot.

The geniuses drink up. Raito took off his pants as L thought of his own _'I have never'._

Wedy lights another cigarette. Matsuda watched her chest heave while she exhaled the smoke.

"_I have never_ successfully convinced the girl I like to have sex with me—Ah wait, I did. Another one then, let's see..."

Watari whispered something to him. L made a grunting approval and then he announced. "_I have never _had sex since my first time!"

Matsuda struggled to gulp down the tequila. He then took off his belt. "_I have never_ found Raito-kun attractive."

"Oh really, Matsuda?" Raito smirked.

"I got nothing else so leave me alone!" Matsuda's neck was visibly hot with crimson blush.

Misa and Wedy raised their shot glasses and said "Cheers!"

Misa takes off her shoe. And then Wedy's turn. "_I have never_ licked anybody before."

_Note to self: Wear more clothes or at least a watch and a pair of shoes._

Raito can't help laughing. That was final for L, world's greatest detective.

The great L finishes his last tequila shot and was about to take off his boxers when Soichiro Yagami walked inside.

"What the hell are you kids doing?" he roared when he saw his son Raito half-naked and L holding the garter of his relatively new boxer shorts.

"We are playing a drinking-strip game." Wedy answered.

"And I am about to show them my male organ."

Soichiro, alarmed with this sinister event, produced a gun and pointed it at L. "Hands off your boxers!"

"Father, what the—?" _Seriously, old man?!_

Matsuda spilled beer all over his crotch. "Oh god, this will stain!"

"I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Yagami-san," L put his pants back on. "This was just harmless fun, as you can see."

"_With all due respect_, Ryuuzaki, I am not looking at 'harmless fun' at all. That is not how I see it." Soichiro lowered his weapon and ordered them around. "Go to your rooms and get some sleep, dammit!"

Matsuda scampered away. Wedy followed, taking the bottle of champagne with her. Watari collected the discarded cups and bowed to Soichiro before leaving. Raito put on his shirt and pants back as quickly as he could while L held onto his shirt, biting his finger and looked like regretful child scolded by a parent. Misa just sat there.

"Go to your room now, son."

Raito obeyed in order to avoid rousing his father's suspicion. Besides, the alcohol did a pretty banged-up job making him feel like throwing up his dinner. Which he should do in 10, 9, 8...

Soichiro followed his son rushing to the nearest bathroom.

"I think we have to postpone our activity and reschedule to a more comfortable time slot," L remarked, turning his shirt inside-out before wearing it.

"Or we could screw Raito and fool around now!" Misa grabbed him, clamping their mouths together. Ah, alcohol and poor judgment, L's best friends.

Misa produced a small bottle of chocolate syrup from her pocket. She then takes off her blouse and pours the substance on her chest. L watched the thick dark brown fluid smudge her meaty bosoms. Seeing L's hungry facial expression, accompanied by the wild spins her mind is conjuring, made Misa surrender completely to the temptation, hugging L with her legs, pulling him further.


End file.
